Having successfully contributed to the decay of society and furthering the nations inter-generational bigotry, a Perth mum who The Neversphere has decided not to name*, has publicly announced she will be celebrating in the most Australian way possible, with casual alcoholism.
The mum, who painted her son in black face as part of his primary school dress up pageant, has revealed that she struggled with the decision. Despite a torrent of abuse and backlash from her peers, the mother decided to push on and allow her son’s dream of dressing like his hero, West Coast Eagles star Nic Naitanui to come true.
Not content with just a team jersey or a wig, the mum committed to “painting the boy brown.”
“I was a little worried about painting him” she explains, “so many politically correct extremists these days. He’s pasty white and if I sent him in a wig and footy gear, no one would tell who he was.”
Initially fearing social prejudice, the mum “grew some balls” adding that her son looked “fanfuckingtastic,” a claim later confirmed by the boys local school who awarded him the best dressed award.
Defining the win as her “Queening moment”, the mum declared she would be celebrating by consuming alcohol earlier in the day than usual.
*But we really, really wanted to.